Top Four End it All Relationship Deal Breakers
My parents have been married 63 years. Needless to say in my formative years I learned on a very deep level that when you commit to your relationship, that means committed no matter what. Marriage means till death do us part. Period. You hear a lot of talk about how people are too quick to get divorces and how we have become a society that treats marriages as disposable. I do believe that people may rush to get married and that many people get married who probably shouldn't. However, my observation is that many people stay in marriages that are broken beyond repair and stay way too long at too high a cost.
What I am about to write is not romantic. It is not the thing that dreams are made of. In fact, the following rules probably represent a lot of heart break. This will infuriate many, especially those who are all about "till death do us part" and those who recognize their relationship on this list. However, I believe there are some deal breakers in relationships. If any of the following things are happening in a relationship you cannot continue to engage in relationship and stay sane and balanced. If you do try to stay, you will eventually end up broken, exhausted, and completely spent. You cannot stay in relationship with a person when anyone of these things is happening and love yourself. If any of these things are happening and you want to be happy get out.
1. If your partner is having an affair, physical, emotional, or cyber, you must get out of the relationship.
Staying with a man who is cheating on you will steal your soul. I know this because I've done it. My former husband had multiple affairs, some I knew of, some I tried to ignore. I stayed for years and those years left me a whimpering shell of my former self. It took me almost a decade to recover. You cannot stay in a relationship with a cheater and maintain even a thread of self esteem. Pretty soon you become a person you'd want to cheat on!
2. If your partner is active in an addiction, alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription drugs, sex, or any other, you must get out of the relationship.
If your partner is in successfully in recovery that is a different story. If your partner is going to AA meetings and drinking in between that's not good enough. Anyone who lives with an addict understands what an active addiction is. Any woman who has asked herself if he is an addict is probably living with one. A man who is active in addiction cannot be present in a relationship with you. He cannot meet your needs. He cannot grow or evolve in positive ways. If he is unwilling to commit to recovery he is unable to commit to you. If you stay you will have to become an enabling partner and you absolutely do not want to be that person.
3. If your partner is abusive, physically, mentally, emotionally, or sexually, you must get out of the relationship.
Physical abuse is not the only type of abuse that is crippling. Any kind of abuse is unacceptable in a relationship. If you are even wondering if you are a victim of abuse, get information, access resources, and get out. There is help available and there are no excuses valid enough to stay in an abusive relationship. Period.
4. If your partner has been unemployed, and is not looking, and is not otherwise contributing for a period of six months or more, you must get out of the relationship.
The longer a person remains unemployed, the more unemployable they become. You are doing your beloved no favors by enabling them to become a full time couch potato. There are a lot of ways a person can contribute to a home when they are unemployed. However, if your partner is not contributing, you know it and if it's gone on longer then six months, you have to get out.
Article Source: Top Four End it All Relationship Deal Breakers
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Stop Divorce and Save Your Marriage